January 1st

A new year begins today and I can’t help but reflect on the previous year. I stayed up way too late last night celebrating the end of a very long, hard year. I have been ready to say goodbye to 2008 for a long time. I have many dreams and prayers for 2009 but am trying to muster up some enthusiasm to proceed! 2008 has been one of the hardest years of my life. We built a new building for The Salvation Army and faced challenge after challenge. I am ready to forge on- no looking back… however many of our problems are still unresolved so much of the worries and stress of 2008 wrap themselves like a cloak around me clinging to me and weighing me down. How do I shed these layers? I am afraid it is going to require a lot more hard work. I know God is in this process and I have learned more in this past year than I could ever have imagined. God is refining and preparing.

Last night I went to my friend Korin’s for a New Years Eve party. It was fun we ate food and played games including the Wii. I always love having opportunities to hang out with the young adults. A few of us girls stayed up talking in the early morning hours about the future of The Salvation Army. I must admit some of our conversation was frustrating as we see the problems that seem insurmountable. We have common friends who have been treated poorly by some leadership recently and sometimes it gets to where you feel like everything is broken. Leadership seems to be lacking and the future of the Army seems uncertain. I myself have had many struggles with leadership decisions imposed upon our ministry in this past year and sometimes it doesn’t seem worth it to carry on. Then something will happen that just blesses me beyond measure. I see something happen or a part of something that reminds me of the true values and mission of The Salvation Army. God speaks right into my heart- “this is what its all about” and I carry on. I love the ministry of The Salvation Army. I love the ministry God allows me to be a part of. I am blessed. All of the struggles and trials are shaping me into who God desires me to be. I just hope I am coming closer to resembling Him because shaping is painful!

Today, the first day of this year has been absolutely lovely. I slept in, the snow was falling and we built a big fire, played some games together had an amazing dinner and never left the house! I don’t get very many days like this- probably didn’t even have one all of last year! I am looking forward to this New Year!